Fear Of Success Is A Thing!
We’ve all experienced the fear of failure, especially on things that we have a lot riding on— In relationships, jobs, business, health, career, investments, and so on. Yes, it makes sense to have a fear of something not working out the way you want it to. “What if it doesn’t work?” That is the question that comes up with a fear of failure.
But does it make sense to have a fear of something working out the way you want it to or expect it to? Does it make sense to fear your own success? I know this sounds contrary to common sense, but it is something that happens to a lot of us.
What is Fear of Success? First of all, let’s define success. Success can be many things. At first glance, people might think of money. Yes, success can be the ability to create wealth. However, success and fear of success can come in so many other ways. It can be just getting what you want or expect out of an activity, strategy, job, career, or project. Getting what you want or expect sounds reasonable if not common sense. Most of the time, the Fear of Success entails the fear of what the success means or what it brings with it, or our beliefs around it. This can be complex, so let’s break it down.
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” – James F, Byrnes
Let’s just say that you are working with a new prospect. This deal will be the largest in your career or business. It will make a huge difference for you financially. Of course, you want this. Who wouldn’t? Fear of failure may be there— It’s not a make-it-or-break-it deal, but it would be nice to achieve and get some things that you have started thinking about since this deal came along. However, the closer you get to successfully closing this, the more you may start to feel uneasy in some way. What if you do get it? Will it raise the bar in expectations that others or you have of yourself? Will you be able to follow through on this? Will the increase in business and money change you at all? There are all sorts of things that can run through your mind at a deep level.
These thoughts originate from beliefs. The beliefs originate from early experiences in your life. For instance, you may have a belief or prior experience that, when things get too busy, you get overwhelmed. Or, you may have an issue that comes up when people have high expectations of you, and you feel that you cannot consistently meet those expectations. Or you may have a belief that successful or wealthy people are not ‘good’ people. This could stem from childhood experiences, things that you heard from adults about people who have money, and even phrases like ‘filthy rich’ can have an adverse effect on us.
I remember a gentleman who would self-sabotage every time his business got to a certain level of income. He would stop doing the things that he successfully did to bring in new clients or would change the level of care that would normally bring clients back and bring in referrals. He could not figure out why. It turns out there was a belief that, if he got too successful, something would happen to ruin his life. This went back to when he was a kid and his father’s very successful business went down the tubes (because of a partner) and their life got turned upside down. He had a fear of success that was so strong that it caused him to sabotage his business.
This was an extreme but not unheard-of example. Self-sabotage does happen to many of us. Fear of Success shows itself in many other ways such as procrastination, loss of focus, loss of motivation, indecisiveness, or an actual fear that arises as you get closer to your goal.